Our situation isn’t THAT bad. Does getting couples counseling mean we are really in trouble?
Far from it. We maintain our cars and our teeth, so why not maintain our closest and most important relationships? Sometimes just a few sessions can help couples to nip problems in the bud and build up the positive feelings in their relationship.
Our situation is AWFUL. Does that mean it’s too late for help?
It’s never too late to try, and sometimes a crisis provides the motivation to really change. If it feels awful, it means there is still some connection, and it may be possible to build this up. If too much damage has happened, it may not be possible, but a skilled therapist can help you be sure that you are leaving no stone unturned, making wise decisions, and not just reacting emotionally.
Will you tell us what to do?
Your therapist will suggest things to do to improve your relationship and/or to gain clarity. However, you will not be told whether to stay or go. Years of experience have shown us as therapists that it really is impossible to know what is best for someone else, and also that people must feel inside that they are doing the right thing, regardless of what others tell them.
What if my partner doesn’t want to attend?
This is often the case, and it is quite possible to improve a relationship with just one partner attending. “It takes two to tango,” but if one changes his or her steps, the other will have to do something different as well. I have helped many individuals to change their own behavior, and also coached them to discuss things or do activities at home with their partners that have led to increased relationship health and satisfaction.
What if I don’t want my partner to attend?
Many people come to therapy fatigued by ongoing conflict with their partner, and prefer to come alone to sort out their own thoughts and feelings. Or they may not be ready for the level of honesty and disclosure necessary for couples work to be effective. Individual therapy can be useful either prior to, instead of, or concurrent with couples therapy.
What if I’m single?
While you are single is a great time to consider therapy. Not only might you learn ways to find a partner, but you can also learn how to improve your relationship with yourself in ways that can enable a healthy relationship in the future. If you have had a painful ending to a prior relationship, you may benefit from processing the emotions connected to that before moving on. Also, The Relating Well Center treats a full range of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and anger management in addition to relationship counseling.
What if I’m really embaressed about my problem?
It takes a lot of courage and motivation to speak about parts of our lives that cause us to feel vulnerable, ashamed, or really abnormal. We find that people quickly move from embaressment to relief when they open up about what has often been a shameful secret. You might be surprised how many other people also have the problem, and we have helped many of them to feel better.
Do you treat gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex, poly, or kink people?
Yes. We try to get past the labels and find out what’s going on for a particular individual or people, and come up with an individualized treatment approach that meets your needs. We welcome you, and hope that you will welcome our questions if there is something with which we are unfamiliar about your background or practices.
What is a sex therapist? Will we have to take off our clothes?
A legitimate sex therapist is a licensed mental health or medical professional with additional training in sex therapy techniques which include diagnosis, psychotherapy, education, homework assignments, relationship skills, behavioral skill training, and collaboration with doctors and healthcare providers. And no, you don’t take off your clothes, or do anything else in the office that you wouldn’t do in a typical psychotherapy visit. For more information, click here (my webpage) or visit the site for The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
How do I get started?
Send an email or call 215-760-3519 to set up a brief phone consultation or to schedule an appointment. Take the first step today to a better relationship tomorrow.